Gaming Quotes III

Note: Last night's Rolemaster session was truly epic largely because Eric the GM's plans got totally screwed over when in the middle of a combat the bad guy wizard totally botched a demon summoning and as a result teleported the party several hundred miles away whilst half melting himself into the  scenery.

"Lice! Lice! Baby" --Eric

"Frosty the snow sword!" --Val and I, describing her magical frost rapier

"The GM is laughing.  That's not a good thing, right?" --Stephen, finally getting the social dynamics of RPGs

Susan's new character is introduced to the party:
"Who are you?" --Stephen
"I don't know how to pronounce my name." --Susan

"That was one hell of a roofie.  That was a great battle.  Or party." --Fred, when his character returns to consciousness after the magical accident.

"I refuse to be killed by a plant." --Fred, while fighting sentient vines that have taken over a village.

"You still have one [vine] on you." --Eric
"I know.  I'm trying to get him off." --Fred

Gaming Quotes II

NOTE: We had a low turnout at gaming last night so there was less bantering off each other than usual.

“Stop interfering with my alien sex fantasy.” --Me

“What does mean to be a cavalier?” --Stephen

“You're from Cleveland and very tall.” --Me

“The door of the tavern opens. You notice it is raining and standing in the door is a knight.” --Eric

“It's a dark and stormy knight!” --Me

“Hey guys, I think there's something behind this door. The GM rolled his dice.” --Stephen

“You get there simultaneously but I'm going to let Ashley go first because she's a girl.” --Eric

“The power of boobs compels you!” --Me

“You roll to clit.” --Eric

[Referring to a broken Oreo]

“It's needs a health spell.” --Me

“Oreos are already magic.” --Stephen

[To Ashley’s wounded character]

“Don't worry, I have pain drugs.” --Candice

“Yes, she pulls out a hammer and on the side is engraved ‘Pain Drugs’.” --Eric

Gaming Quotes I

NOTE: This is the first of what I hope will be an ongoing series of posts of humorous quotes and semi-witty byplay from my regular gaming group.  At present we are playing Rolemaster and during last night's session the party was flailing away through a swamp filled with nasty critters.

Stephen: I ready my battle ass!
Val: Farts of fury!

Me: My heavy crossbow is named Zelda.
Eric: You named your crossbow?
Me: At least I didn't call it Vera.
Eric: Then it would be Vera Twang.

(Ashley's ranger is repeatedly stabbing a mortally wounded lizard man)
Val: Give it up.
Ashley: I am trying to put it out of it's misery.
Eric: As she scrapes off one scale at a time.

Val (playing a bard and singing):
     For a poultice they did barter,
     It's a goo thing he's not a martyr.

Eric (the gamemaster, trying to find some papers): And I haven't even been drinking yet.
Fred: I brought you a chocolate stout.
Eric: Oh good. Now where is that xp bonus.

Stephen (aiming his bow at a flock of giant crows): Hey guys, watch this.
Ashley: STOP!
Me: Nothing good ever follows that sentence.

Val (singing as Stephen's character bleeds to death):
     La la la, not to be morose,
     It looks like death is really close.