My Giant List of Quotes, Part 3 (Terry Pratchett to Robin Williams)

NOTE: There is a lot of Terry Pratchett in this section.  This is because he was both eminently quotable and incredibly prolific.

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“In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” --Terry Pratchett

“The pen is mightier than the sword ... if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.” --Terry Pratchett

“It wasn't blood in general he couldn't stand the sight of, it was just his blood in particular that was so upsetting.” --Terry Pratchett

“Death isn't cruel – merely terribly, terribly good at his job.” --Terry Pratchett

“The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.” --Terry Pratchett

“There was no difference at all between the richest man and the poorest beggar, apart from the fact that the former had lots of money, food, power, fine clothes, and good health. But at least he wasn’t any better. Just richer, fatter, more powerful, better dressed and healthier.” --Terry Pratchett

“[W]hile it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.”--Terry Pratchett

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.” --Terry Pratchett

“It is always useful to have an enemy who is prepared to die for his country, this means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.” --Terry Pratchett

“One of the most basic rules for survival on any planet is never to upset someone wearing black leather.” --Terry Pratchett

“I believe in freedom, Mr. Lipwig. Not many people do, although they will, of course, protest otherwise. And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.” --Terry Pratchett

“They say that the prospect of being hanged in the morning concentrates a man's mind wonderfully; unfortunately what the mind inevitably concentrates on is that it is in a body, that, in the morning, is going to be hanged.”-- Terry Pratchett

“I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.” --Theodore Roosevelt, on his daughter

“The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything.” --Theodore Roosevelt

“No greater friend, no worse enemy” --Lucius Cornelius Sulla (epitaph)

“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” --John Steinbeck (disputed)

“Anti-social behavior is a trait of intelligence in world full of conformists.” --Nikola Tesla

“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

--Dylan Thomas

“I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by 'arisch'. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. … But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. … I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.” --J.R.R. Tolkien

“My political opinions lean more and more to Anarchy (philosophically understood, meaning abolition of control not whiskered men with bombs) … the most improper job of any man, even saints (who at any rate were at least unwilling to take it on), is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.” --J.R.R. Tolkien

“It was like discovering a complete wine-filled cellar filled with bottles of an amazing wine of a kind and flavor never tasted before. It quite intoxicated me….” --J.R.R. Tolkien, on his discovery of the Finnish language

“Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.” --Leon Trotsky

“I never gave anybody hell. I just told the truth and they think it's hell.” --Harry Truman

“It's an old political trick: ‘If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.’” --Harry Truman

“I fired him because he wouldn't respect the authority of the president. That's the answer to that. I didn't fire him because he was a dumb son of a bitch, although he was, but that's not against the law for generals. If it was, half to three-quarters of them would be in jail.” --Harry Truman, on Douglas MacArthur

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.” --Mark Twain

“I always made one prayer to God, a very short one. Here it is: ‘O Lord, make our enemies quite ridiculous!’ God granted it.” --Voltaire

“If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.” --Voltaire

“The best is the enemy of the good.” --Voltaire

“I don't know what effect these men will have on the enemy, but by God, they terrify me.” --Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington

“I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.” --Oscar Wilde

“You're only given a little spark of madness and if you lose that, you're nothing.” --Robin Williams

“And that's when you realize that God gave you a penis and a brain and only enough blood to run one at a time.” --Robin Williams